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Missing Piece

If you are like me, you are enjoying the warm Spring/Summer like air.  I have reluctantly begun to remove my winter plastic from the windows to allow the fresh Spring air dance thru my home.  It is so refreshing, and saddening to me as well.  It's when I realized this will be the first season change without Bear Theodore, and can still feel a pang in my heart.  I received a notice in the mail from the Hobart Humane Society yesterday.  My vet had made a donation in his name, and the tears overcame me like a raging river.

I am a big dog person in addition to a cat person.  I have toyed with the idea of adopting another dog, and/or becoming a foster parent, but at the critical moment of placing an application I can't seem to go through with it.  My Phat Gurl, so desperately wants someone to play with.  To romp, play tug, and do silly dogs things with. Her favorite cat is just not "feeling" those type of droole dog games.  Everyone tells me that I just need to "get back on the horse", and get another dog, but my household is special.  We have a mix of dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, raccoons, o'possums, squirrels, deer and probably several unknown visitors.  At my house EVERYTHING has to get along.  It would be unfair to go to a rescue or shelter and get a dog that didn't fit into our family.  The guilt of return the dog would haunt me until no end.   Heaven knows that working with the Phat Gurl was a challenge!  My very first bully breed?  OH MY GOSH!!!  She was so much work, and still has her occasional challenging moments, but we she came to me as a stray she just fit in.  That is until she had puppies!   That was a whole different story.!
I thought about getting a puppy.....then I took a cold shower!  I love puppies, just as long as I can play with them, love them, bathe them, and send them back in the house to their parents.  I am way to busy for a puppy right now.  Puppies, you have to love them, but they are CRAZY!!!!!

Bear Theodore's  place is huge spot to fill.  He was my best friend,and that is not a place that can be filled easily.  April would have been his 12th birthday.  I still remember seeing the gray that had started to come in on his muzzle, and I miss his soft kisses on my cheek when he was trying to hustle me for cookies.  I miss seeing his handsome face watching me out of the window.   He made such an impression in my heart, that I don't know it will ever be filled.  I keep his ashes by my bed, when I go....we will be spread out together.  I still feel like I am walking around with one shoe on and one shoe off,and the cracks in my heart are still there. Every time I groom a Rottie I give them a little extra love.  That piece of my heart is still missing ever since the day that Bear Theodore left.

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